Asking for help: A leader’s superpower

The best leaders recognise their limitations and do something that takes immense courage, self-awareness and a willingness to be vulnerable – they ask for help when it is needed.

As a leadership development coach and founder of Indigo Rose Coaching, Lorraine Mutambiranwa have witnessed many leaders trapped by fears like, “Well, I am the boss so I should know what this is about”, or “They’re going to think I’m lazy and over-delegate”. Worse still ‘’I don’t deserve to be in charge if I can’t do this one thing.”

What managers fail to appreciate is that they are human, and just as they lean on people in their personal lives, they can do this at work too.

Self-awareness is the bedrock of leadership. In dealing with these struggles, being self-aware can mean:

1. Letting go of the negative, and sometimes irrational, voices that make you believe asking for help is a weakness. Believe that you have earned and deserve your role. You are the leader and can determine what’s needed for you to get the job done. You know when to ask for help.

2. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest with yourself about what they are. Watch out for times when you might trick yourself into believing that it’s all under control by delaying or lingering in analysis mode.

3. Focus on the goal. Assess what you need to make it work and go and get it. The sooner you involve others the better! It’s one thing to know that you need help, and another entirely to ask for it. Great leaders have honed this skill into a superpower. In Mutambiranwa’s observations, this is what they do:

• Great leaders make a habit of checking in and updating their teams, colleagues and the greater network on where they are and what’s happening. These updates allow them to spot opportunities for collaboration and to share what may not be going well, thus opening the door to ask for help.
• They choose the right time. Firstly, forerunners understand the importance of timing. They know they need to be in the right frame of mind, with a clear sense of where and why they need assistance. Secondly, they are considerate of the person from whom they need help – in how and when they ask for help, and in their ability to contribute towards the goal. Sometimes they will not ask the most qualified expert, preferring to ask someone else because they understand that timing may affect that person’s ability to help effectively.
• The superpower in asking for help is that a leader will take time to understand the task at hand, so that they can be specific in their ask. They will be able to articulate what they need help on, how far they are with the initiative and why they believe that individual could be the person to assist. In some cases, a great leader will own that they do not know the exact help needed and will create a space to get ideas in order to identify what’s required.
• Great leaders are not afraid of questions and challenging answers! When asking for help, a leader might be met with questions and suggestions of how things could be done differently. This can easily leave them feeling inadequate. Great leaders welcome the opportunity to dig deeper and appreciate feedback. If the result is a ‘no’, don’t take it personally. Accept it graciously, ask them to point you in the right direction if they can, and then move on.
• They support and enable. When they get help, great leaders make themselves and the resources needed to get the job done available. They support by checking and sound boarding to stay aligned on the goals.
• And the final tool in the superpower toolkit on asking for help? Recognition and acknowledgment. When the work is done, great leaders offer specific thanks for contributions made.

Remember, you cannot do everything, and you do not know it all. And that’s okay.

Lorraine Mutambiranwa is a certified leadership development coach and founder of Indigo Rose Coaching with more than 15 years of experience in strategy and operations management in the public and private sectors. She is passionate about uplifting local communities and views leadership development as a critical enabler for socio-economic growth in Africa.

The best leaders recognise their limitations and do something that takes immense courage, self-awareness and a willingness to be vulnerable – they ask for help when it is needed.

As a leadership development coach and founder of Indigo Rose Coaching, Lorraine Mutambiranwa have witnessed many leaders trapped by fears like, “Well, I am the boss so I should know what this is about”, or “They’re going to think I’m lazy and over-delegate”. Worse still ‘’I don’t deserve to be in charge if I can’t do this one thing.”

What managers fail to appreciate is that they are human, and just as they lean on people in their personal lives, they can do this at work too.

Self-awareness is the bedrock of leadership. In dealing with these struggles, being self-aware can mean:

1. Letting go of the negative, and sometimes irrational, voices that make you believe asking for help is a weakness. Believe that you have earned and deserve your role. You are the leader and can determine what’s needed for you to get the job done. You know when to ask for help.

2. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest with yourself about what they are. Watch out for times when you might trick yourself into believing that it’s all under control by delaying or lingering in analysis mode.

3. Focus on the goal. Assess what you need to make it work and go and get it. The sooner you involve others the better! It’s one thing to know that you need help, and another entirely to ask for it. Great leaders have honed this skill into a superpower. In Mutambiranwa’s observations, this is what they do:

• Great leaders make a habit of checking in and updating their teams, colleagues and the greater network on where they are and what’s happening. These updates allow them to spot opportunities for collaboration and to share what may not be going well, thus opening the door to ask for help.
• They choose the right time. Firstly, forerunners understand the importance of timing. They know they need to be in the right frame of mind, with a clear sense of where and why they need assistance. Secondly, they are considerate of the person from whom they need help – in how and when they ask for help, and in their ability to contribute towards the goal. Sometimes they will not ask the most qualified expert, preferring to ask someone else because they understand that timing may affect that person’s ability to help effectively.
• The superpower in asking for help is that a leader will take time to understand the task at hand, so that they can be specific in their ask. They will be able to articulate what they need help on, how far they are with the initiative and why they believe that individual could be the person to assist. In some cases, a great leader will own that they do not know the exact help needed and will create a space to get ideas in order to identify what’s required.
• Great leaders are not afraid of questions and challenging answers! When asking for help, a leader might be met with questions and suggestions of how things could be done differently. This can easily leave them feeling inadequate. Great leaders welcome the opportunity to dig deeper and appreciate feedback. If the result is a ‘no’, don’t take it personally. Accept it graciously, ask them to point you in the right direction if they can, and then move on.
• They support and enable. When they get help, great leaders make themselves and the resources needed to get the job done available. They support by checking and sound boarding to stay aligned on the goals.
• And the final tool in the superpower toolkit on asking for help? Recognition and acknowledgment. When the work is done, great leaders offer specific thanks for contributions made.

Remember, you cannot do everything, and you do not know it all. And that’s okay.

Lorraine Mutambiranwa is a certified leadership development coach and founder of Indigo Rose Coaching with more than 15 years of experience in strategy and operations management in the public and private sectors. She is passionate about uplifting local communities and views leadership development as a critical enabler for socio-economic growth in Africa.